"I always thought it was my fault.
Because I ran away.
Because I threw the doll in the dustbin.
Because my father was so angry."

Valerie

After she shot, everything’s over. Start again where everything began. Go on? Whatever.

The eight-year-old girl with short hair on the high seat. When the policeman came, the girl had turned into a boy.

"You reap what you sow. You reap what you sow." - That idiotic saying pops into my head time and again. No idea where it comes from.
What a load of crap. I sowed nothing, didn’t do shit. I was a child. Not even a girl, always wanted to be a boy. That was my first mistake. Nobody asked me. Nobody till this very day.
Reaping! Like hell!

I got frightened recently. Suddenly I remembered: my father said that to me, once, in the garden. I didn’t understand it then. He only was only talking about the beans.

The world isn’t safe.

From the diary of a victim:
Symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder:

1. Images, emotions and the like grab hold of you suddenly in all kinds of situations. You can’t concentrate, get angry for not being able to control your thoughts, your emotions. (Doll in the wastebasket. Kicking it.)

2. Avoiding things, situations that could remind you. Withdrawal, you’re hardly able to leave the house anymore. (I decided on the opposite. Too many years under the bed cover.)

3. Be aware: Experiencing how everything can change in a moment. The world isn’t safe. A person should’ve been better prepared. Mustn’t happen again. You get very alert, suspicious, jumpy. (I’m packing a gun. Sure feels good.)