"Whom do you want to show it to, kiddo?”"

Ellen

Decker and me at that time? A scandal.
If someone had known. No one did, though.

Maybe that’s what made it so exciting, the outrageousness of it all.

And I always thought: the guy’s really okay, he’s just in the wrong profession. He’s no hardliner. Not political. One of those who continually have a need to prove their masculinity. That’s what irked me too. Anyway, those were exceptional circumstances then, personally and professionally. A real juggling act.
Making the best of a bad situation by dint of defensive moves. Shut the old eyes, deny reality – which reality? Tinted perception. Decker? Forbidden territory. Who gets hurt if I treat myself to something on a private level?

I’m really in the mood, in the mood to do it. Neat on the outside, inside: rebellion, chaos, confusion, passion. So damn what! Nothing much more happened. Just lost a few dreams and yet ... it’s still burning, this wish to do right, for justice and love. Yes?! Yes!!!